The following is a brief extract from the recently unearthed sequel to James Joyce’s Ulysses, entitled ‘Twolysses’. This rigidly structured chapter was to be written as a sequence of questions and answers, and an early version originally appeared in a 1921 edition of Aston Villa’s match day souvenir programme.
WHAT DIVERGENT COURSES DID STEPHEN DEDALUS AND LEOPLOLD BLOOM’S RESPECTIVE TRAMS FOLLOW?
Stephen’s 11A tram followed Birmingham’s outer ring road in an anti-clockwise direction; Bloom’s 11C tram followed Birmingham’s outer ring road in a clockwise direction.
AT WHAT POINT ON THE ROUTE DID THEIR TWO TRAMS CONVERGE?
In Cotteridge.
WHAT WERE THE NAMES OF STEPHEN’S FELLOW PASSENGERS?
Rev Al Green, Mr Edward G. Baston, Mr Mose Lee, Mr Bart Lee Green, Mr Bill Slee, Mr Derek End, Mr Dud Heston, Mr Frank Lee, Mr Thor Ochs, Fr Garret Greene, Miss Cassandra L. Vale, Dr R. Bourne, Mrs Hayley Mills, Mr Lee Bank, Mr Laurence ‘Loz’ Ells, Miss Minnie ‘Min’ Worth, Mr Kit & Mrs Mia Greene, Mr Oz Kot, Mr Rube Berry, Miss Sally Oak, Mrs Sally Park, Mrs Shell Dunne, Lt Col Shaw Teeth (Retired), Mr Tighe Burne, Dr Winston Greene, Mr Wes Teeth, Mr Ty Slee and Mr Alan Rock.
IN WHAT STATE OF HEATH DID STEPHEN FIND HIMSELF?
Gravely Ill.
WHERE WAS STEPHEN’S TRAM LOCATED IN SPACE-TIME?
At 2.30pm on 14th June 1914, Stephen’s 11A tram (maximum seating capacity approximately 45) was negotiating Erdington’s Six Ways traffic roundabout as it followed the 27 mile imperfectly circular outer ring road of the city of Birmingham (population approximately 840,000): which was part of the county known as Warwickshire (population approximately 1.3 million): which was part of the country called England (population approximately 34 million); which was part of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland (population approximately 46 million): which was part of the continent of Europe (population approximately 450 million): which was part of a planet known locally as Earth (population approximately 1.8 billion) which was currently following a 150,000,000 mile imperfectly circular orbit of its neighbouring Sun (maximum seating capacity approximately nil).
WHERE WAS BLOOM’S TRAM LOCATED IN SPACE-TIME?
In Stechford.