Blather
Only Forward
“Yet more than all this, the really lethal thing about the whole language of business – is that it is so brainlessly upbeat. All the celebrating, the reaching out, the sharing, and the championing in fact grind one down. Several decades too late, it is as if business has caught up with the linguistic spirit [...]
Flu Fighters
Well, I didn’t get around to writing a proper review of last Saturday’s absolutely Goddamn awesome Foo Fighters gig at Wembley Stadium because, since then, I’ve been sick as a pike. Even on the day of the gig I was far from ship shape and Bristol fashion. I started the morning with some low-level nasal [...]
Anger Management Class
When trying to describe a particularly stressful event to someone, I’ll often say that I was experiencing a “David Banner changing-a-tyre-in-a-thunderstorm moment.” This often confuses and bewilders people, particularly people who are significantly younger than me. That suits me fine. It’s what they get for being significantly younger than me. For the record, this is [...]
The Howling
So there I was, sitting on the sofa last night with Clare by my side, indulging in a late night telephone conversation with Brother Younger. The conversation was predictably unpredictable, a tangential soup that included Napoleon Bonaparte’s exile on St Helena, the inherent wankiness of certain city centre bars and the amount of facial hair [...]
O Brother, Why Art Thou?
The following is a transcript of a text message exchange that took place yesterday between me and my younger brother, Rob (AKA Brother Younger): ME: Julian Cope is playing at Latitude… ROB: Great! Who’s Julian Cope? ME: Philistine! ROB: I’m not sure who they are, either ME: You’re saying you haven’t heard of Phil S. [...]
Stung
Last Tuesday night I went to see The Police by accident. Not that police – The Police. As in Sting, Andy Summers & Stewart Copeland. As in Roxanne, So Lonely and Every Breath You Take. That Police. It’s time for a confession. I bought the tickets so I could sell them on Ebay. That’s right, [...]
Oh, dear…
I stole this thoroughly appalling joke from my workpal Kuz and shamelessly used it on Saturday evening. Couldn’t resist, really. At the barbecue I turned to my friend Jonathan and said: “You live in the country so you might know more about these things than a city boy like me. A bloke in the pub [...]
Pundamentalism
Something I blurted out today to my work colleagues. It’s so bad I’m sure someone must have thought of it before me: “What do you call an irrational fear of Buddhists?”“Zenophobia.”They really aren’t being paid enough to listen to stuff like that…. Technorati Tags:blatherGenerated By Technorati Tag Generator
The brain wrong of a one-man man mental…
It’s been a fairly quiet weekend, probably due in fact the last three weekends were extremely hectic. After going to the Latitude Festival, my friend Rachel’s wedding and Glasgow I now find myself so skint I can’t pay attention. So it goes. I spent most of this afternoon varnishing my mum’s porch, which – as [...]
Hush
I’ll keep this brief for two reasons. Firstly, I think there comes a time when a man has to exercise some measure of self-discipline over certain aspects of his life. For instance, on occasion I’ve been prone to acts of wanton gibberish, blarney-fuelled blather and tangential excess. My friends claim I talk out of my [...]
Here we go…
I wasn’t planning to do this, I really wasn’t. Having a Myspace page and Blogging all seemed a bit too 21st Century for my 20th Century tastes. It was like owning a SatNav or worrying about my carbs – I could grasp the concepts and appreciate the benefits but I just couldn’t be arsed with [...]
Dirty Bristow issue 2 features stuff by me and is On Sale Now
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