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Cookiewaits

  • April 30th, 2013

Sesame Street's Cookie Monster + Tom Waits = Cookiewaits.  It's obvious, really, and I love [...]

My Twitter Nonsense

I was a failed Police Sketch Artist – could never quite capture Sting’s smugness.
@tomlennon
Uproar in US following claims Daniel Day Lewis “only pretended to be Lincoln”
@tomlennon
Xenuphobic, n. An irrational fear of people who have an irrational fear of psychiatry #neologism
@tomlennon
I’d never cut off my nose to spite my face – my glasses wouldn’t stay up
@tomlennon
In danger of being snowed-in at work. Just saw Liam Neeson in the car park punching a wolf
@tomlennon
Re-Taken #teenagefilms
@tomlennon
At Loco Lounge & I’ve just explained to Edie (3) what all the different chess pieces do. She shouts “Pawn!” & I get disapproving looks
@tomlennon
I might write a bittersweet tale of Star Trek-obsessed kid growing up in 70s Northern Ireland. I’ll call it ‘The Tribble with the Troubles’
@tomlennon
Osborne announces Tweet allowance cut back to 60 chara
@tomlennon
Ironically, the original Amazons were fierce female warriors who sold books AND paid tax
@tomlennon
TripAdvisor rated this corral ‘OK’ #WildWestProblems
@tomlennon
Skyfall, like every other Bond film, takes place on a Bank Holiday Monday
@tomlennon
The phone rang, I bolted across the room and tripped over daughter’s toy pushchair. It was a recorded message from an accident claims firm
@tomlennon
Have just noticed that Pete Townsend has a really enormous nose. Had previously thought that the rest of his head was tiny
@tomlennon
Each living soul is a vast engine of infinite possibility. Except for the tossers.
@tomlennon
Nick Clegg under fire from bigots following “Bigots are touchy” remark
@tomlennon
CERN scientists finally prove that Wagon Wheels are still the same size, your hands have grown
@tomlennon
Apple faces $1 Billion lawsuit from Granny Smith
@tomlennon
UK Government announce plans to sell reconditioned 1970s NHS specs to “gullible overseas hipsters”
@tomlennon
There’s no “I” in “Team”; There’s no “F” in “Chance”
@tomlennon