When life turns into a Robert Anton Wilson novel

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When life turns into a Robert Anton Wilson novel

It was 8am and I was driving to work, listening to Radio 4’s Today Programme as John Humpreys served me a hearty breakfast of headlines. He told me that Republican Presidential candidate John McCain had promised to transform Washington and win back public trust. He said something about research indicating that some food prices had risen by as much as 40% this year. Finally, he reassured me that scientists working on CERN’s Large Hadron Collider had insisted that their research into the start of the universe will not create a black hole that will swallow the planet next Wednesday.

Thanks for the reassurance, John. Mind you, I might have felt a lot more optimistic about the future – and possibly more energised for work – if the Today Programme’s weather forecast took us up to next Thursday and beyond…


About the Author:

My name is Tom Lennon and I'm a freelance writer who specialises in humour at the geekier end of the pop culture spectrum. I'm based in Birmingham, UK, and my work has recently appeared in BuzzFeed and Time Out.


  1. Brian Shields September 5, 2008 at 11:57 pm

    Everyone knows the black hole will swallow Fernando Poo first while the American Medical Association plays in the background.

  2. Rol September 6, 2008 at 3:19 am

    Damn – I thought from that headline that you’d at least been kidnapped by Lee Harvey Oswald’s alien forefather and introduced to a new form of consciousness based on spoons or something.

  3. Tom Lennon September 6, 2008 at 1:12 pm

    What can I say, Rol – apologies for the misleading headline. I was once kidnapped by a Birmingham-based Discordian cell who took me to Ingolstadt, Bavaria in a golden canal barge, but that sort of thing regularly happens in these parts. It hardly counts.

    Incidentally, the previous paragraph contains no fnords.

  4. Tom Lennon September 6, 2008 at 1:21 pm

    Indeed, Brian – and if they don’t know this by now, then there really is no hope for the rest of us. We may as well pack our bags and move en masse to Mad Dog, Texas.

    The potential immanentizing of the eschaton is no laughing matter.

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